I was in beast mode when I returned to work on Monday, running off the high Imtiaz injected no doubt.
Red was a pill as usual. Her elitist attitude begged for me to mush her in her face but I managed to ignore all of my primal urges save one.
We texted each other throughout the day and I tried not to put too much stock in it. I both anticipated the ping and dreaded a future where there would be an absence of it. My head demanded that I be cautious and yet I felt everything intensely and with abandon. The war between sense and sensibility raged within me constantly. I took long walks during my lunch blasting Lana Del Ray,Sam Smith and Hozier in a perpetual melancholy loop. I lived in my vivid playback. I was deliriously beguiled and yet I was proud of myself because I was still able to function, perhaps even more acutely than ever before.
I was at the very top of my work game. I received praise from Posh Spice on a daily. In fact I was soon her favorite, a title I appreciated inwardly to some degree but you gotta take such praise in the spirit in which it was given, sporadically from one who had the tendency to be exceptionally fickle. Things took on a turn however when Posh waltzed in the office on cloud nine that morning and announced that she has a present for me. My eyebrows lifted in disbelief.
“I’ve got a present for you Katrina darling.” Posh practically sang as she deposited a rectangular box on my desk.
Red really earned her name that day. I could practically see the steam rising out of her ears. Her eyes squinted to deadly slants as she moved to the left behind Posh so that I could witness her expressions. It was all I could do to hold in my laughter. I couldn’t believe how foolish it was of her to want the entire office to witness her jealousy. I instead looked to my right to raise an eyebrow at Sonia, who shot me a knowing glance. For all we knew this was an attempt to set us at odds with each other. It was no secret that Sonia and I were thick as thieves, our alliance a sore spot for Posh who preferred our allegiance be to her than each other.
Since I rolled into this office the first time, many months ago I realized that Posh, though very good at what she did, had very little head for office policy or politics. After all of her subterfuge with Karly, her previous assistant I learned a very prominent lesson, do you job, smile, be polite, be grounded, cash your checks and keep it pushin.
“Well that was very kind of you Posh, thank you so much.” I smiled, picking up the unwrapped box admiringly turning it over.
“I came across this as I was buying one of my favorite scents and I thought it suited you so perfectly.” She whirled on excitedly.
I smiled at her in thanks, unwrapped the plastic, uncorked the bottle and sprayed a little on my wrist. I took in a whiff and had to admit, it really was as advertised, Delicious.
“Well it certainly does live up to its name. Thank you Posh that was very kind of you.”
Red couldn’t take it anymore, spun out of her chair and quit the room in a huff. Posh arched an eyebrow in amusement and announced she would be taking me to a working lunch tomorrow. She had some things she wanted to go over. I was surprised, usually our working lunches included Sonia. I was surprised but of course placed the appointment in my calendar gave her her messages and continued working.
Later that night as Sonia and I got into the elevator I could see that my girl was a little standoffish and I couldn’t blame her. Posh had made such a to-do about the gift and lavishing me with praise the entire day it was hard not to want to smack us both.
“Sonia you do know that she’s playing favorites again don’t you? Please don’t tell me that you’re taking any of this seriously or worse, that you think I am?”
I wasn’t much into beating around the bush and launched right into it as soon as the elevator doors closed and we found ourselves alone.
“No Kat, of course I know that. Posh is always gonna be Posh no matter what girl. I got mad problems beyond this door and her treating me like I’m second class is only the icing on the cake let me just tell ya.”
I could see the stress all over my girl’s face and I chided myself inwardly. I had been so wrapped up in my own happiness that I hadn’t noticed or given my Sonia much thought.
“Girl I’ve been so wrapped up in my own bs I haven’t been as observant as I should have been. You know what we need?” I asked, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.
“What’s that girl?” She asked, shrugging.
Sonia’s upbringing didn’t exactly make her comfortable with affection but every now and again I took a risk and violated her personal space to force a hug or two.
I slowly removed my arms and bumped her shoulder with mine.
“What we need is a quick drink, dinner and a little girl talk, my treat.”
“No, no missy. If we’re gonna go, I’m gonna at least pay my way. I may not have it like that but tonight girl I need it.”
My girl was prideful. She wasn’t capable of being a moocher and would never let herself come close even when times were rough. I smiled at her as we traded laughs, marching to our usual spot, The Pig & Whistle.
I heard a ping and checked my phone as we were chatting.
Hey Kat, you heading home?
I smiled and responded quickly, not wanting to interrupt my time with Sonia.
Not yet, I’m having dinner with Sonia first.
The response was immediate.
Ok cool, enjoy.
I don’t know why his succinct response disappointed me but I chalked it up to me being childish and shoved the phone back into my pocket without responding. Maybe the truth was I didn’t like his abrupt response and to punish him I didn’t respond at all. Or maybe part of me wasn’t entirely comfortable with the hold he had over me in such a short time and this was my way of taking a stand against it by sending him a message that he didn’t quite have me like that. Whatever it was, I could analyze it later. Tonight was for Sonia.