The week flew by at a breakneck pace and before I knew it Friday had rolled around, then Saturday. And I still hadn’t heard from my brown skinned Bengal boy. It had been more than a few days. Outwardly I came to work very day and did what I had to do. I went home every night, spoke to my man when he was available, caught up with the kid whom I practically saw in passing, (that’s 22 for you) and basically kept a low profile. Usually by now I’d have made plans with my cuz to hit up some spot during the weekend and have a much needed drank! But I was preoccupied with my thoughts. My mind tended to wander over to the dark side during the in between moments. I would rotate between replaying every detail of our one date night or turn over every possible scenario that my imagination conjured as to why he would suddenly stop texting or calling. It shouldn’t matter I told myself. We are simply friends. We had a moment. He probably decided it wasn’t worth getting in any deeper and simply stopped communication. He didn’t owe me an explanation, did he? Maybe he had a girlfriend, she found out, gave him an ultimatum and he made the smart choice. Mayhaps he wasn’t interested as much as I thought he was. Perhaps aliens landed, decided he was a FAF (fine as fuck), kidnapped him and decided to enslave him to colonize their strictly female planet. Why not? Shoot, I would.
Despite all of the thoughts rolling around in my head I couldn’t bring myself to call or text him. I felt like I had no place to do so, no claim to him whatsoever. How would I even start? Hey, what’s up? Sounded so juvenile. What grown woman would play her cards that way? I couldn’t deny that I wanted him, in the worst possible way. I unconsciously crossed my legs at ankles, squeezing them together as if I could block out my mounting desire and wish for him to be betwixt them. But I felt certain to make the first move would display immaturity, weakness and insecurity. I couldn’t afford any of those traits. They would make me feel even more foolish than I did now contemplating all of this round and round for days on end.
I growled fiercely and wrenched myself off of the bed. Nothing would be solved this way. It was time to put myself to work and expel this boy from my system.
I hit the kettle, rolling my eyes at the unwelcome memory of his body only steps behind mine not a week ago. I put on the radio, turned Pandora to a Movado station and started my whirlwind routine of whipping my Jewel Box Joint into shape. I fluffed the pillows with vigor, scrubbed the dishes like Cinderella, dusted the house with the new Pledge all surface cleaner, grateful not to have to switch rags and bottles, mopped the kitchen and finally ran the vacuum through the entire apartment. I decided I’d break for my favorite breakfast on a Saturday, toasted cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese and grape jelly and coffee in my huge Cracker Barrel mug!
As soon as I pulled my warm throw over my legs tucking myself into my comfy couch I heard keys turning into the door.
“Mom I’m home. Deb’s with me, is that ok? You decent?”
You had to love the kid. She knew on a typical Saturday I didn’t change out of my sleep clothes, (shorts and tank top) until well into the afternoon.
“Yeah lil mama, I’m under the blanky no worries. Come through.”
I smiled at her and Deb as they entered the living room, biting off the crunchy yet chewy bagel. I practically closed my eyes in ecstasy the cream cheese was so delish.
“How you girls doing?” I asked in between munches.
“We’re good mom.” Dev piped up, leaning over and giving me a half hug and a hearty kiss.
“I’m good, how are you Auntie?” Deb asked, pausing for the answer.
“I’m glad to hear that sweetheart. I’m good, enjoying a relaxing Saturday!” I shared.
“Oh good, good.” Deb responded. “Well let me not keep you from your food. Dev and I are just going to grab a few things and head out.”
“No worries sweets. Have fun.” I nodded.
“Dev, what are you up to tonight?” I shouted. She was already in her room tumbling through her closet.
“Mom we’re going to a party tonight and then I’m sleeping over at Debbie’s ok?”
The agony and the ecstasy. Alone with my thoughts all evening. I hope Netflix refreshed their lineup.
“Yeah that’s fine.” I replied, still munching away.
“What are you gonna be doing tonight? You going out with Auntie Charmy?”
I considered it for a moment but dismissed it just as quickly. I didn’t feel like getting dressed up and heading out tonight. If I changed my mind I could always try her, see if she was game.
“Nah. I think I’m gonna be here doing exactly what you see me doing now.” I chuckled.
“Awww.” Dev responded.
“Nah, no worries. I prefer it that way. I need a rest. I’ve got a few things to finish up and then it’s me and Baby on the couch all night.”
Dev laughed. “Well I know Baby will love that. She looks lonely mom.”
“Don’t let that fluff butt fool you for a second Dev. Whenever you’re not home I play with her all of the time and I give her cat treats and let her sit with me on the couch.”
“Awww. You know she loves you mom.”
“Nah, she tolerates us when you’re not around but she loves you Dev.”
“Aww fluffy butt.” Dev coos, then ducks into her room to force love upon the feline. A couple of strangled meows and I wonder if Baby isn’t praying for her to leave at this point.
I hear a buzz, drop the last morsel of bagel into my mouth, check my phone and freeze.
Hey Kat, haven’t heard from you in awhile. How are you doing?
OMGosh it’s him. I hardly know how to act I’m so excited and what’s worse is that I discover I’m relieved.
I gulp down some coffee. Let’s not be hasty. I should think about my response before I let my fingers do the talkin’.
“Ok mom, I’m gone.” Dev spins out of her room with Debbie in tow, plants a hurried kiss on my cheek and dashes.
“Bye Auntie.” Debbie calls out, running through the kitchen after Dev.
I barely have time to utter my mantra.
“Ok bye, love you. God Bless You Both and Keep You Both Safe.”
And even though I heard the door slam I could still make out “Bye mom, love you too.”
I smile. That kid’s one in a million.
I gulp down the rest of my coffee and start pecking away at my iphone screen. I bunch my lips in a side smirk considering my answer for a second before hitting the send button.
I’m too nervous to wait for an answer so I grab the dishes and head to the kitchen.
When in doubt you better work.