I fell asleep feeling sated and loved, safely sleeping with my back to a tiger, his hand thrown carelessly across my thigh.
That night I slept as though awake and while awake lived in my dream.
So this is what the other side of the looking glass must be like Alice. Please wake me never.
I stirred a few hours later wanting to wash between my legs. I’d never been comfortable sleeping with the essence of a man inside of me. I suppose I was not an entirely different being after all. He lay sleeping looking so much more like a boy then he already was. I gently slid from underneath his hand and slipped quietly into the bathroom.
Still fresh and soft from the lotion I applied to my skin I returned to my former position turning to my honey dip to plant a feather kiss on his soft lips. I was surprised when he kissed back and reached for me in the semi darkness of the room.
It only took but that for us to start up again. Damn. Looks like I would need to purchase much more lotion. At this rate, I’d be out by sunrise.
The morning dusk wasn’t the only thing that was breaking. My back ached and I was more swollen and bruised than I’d ever been. Yet an hour later when he started kissing my back and I felt him trying to find his way into me once more the last thing I wanted to do was resist. The pain was as intense as the pleasure and I couldn’t get enough. What a wanton this boy made me and the shame of it was that I felt none at all. He mastered me at a primal level. I felt wild and free, a tigress he conjured into existence. I had an urge to growl which I resisted and instead raked my nails across his back. He tossed me around like a kitten positioning me in whatever way served our pleasure best.
“What do you want me to do to you baby?” He whispered as the light of dawn seeped through the curtain and trickled into the room.
I can’t remember the last time anyone asked me what I desired.
I hesitated for a mere second before answering with slight trepidation.
“I want you to wrap your fingers around my throat and tighten them.”
I was frightened that my request would break the spell between us. Instead he did just as I asked and in truth I wanted his fingers to squeeze tighter but I could tweak this later.
He wouldn’t bring himself to cum until I had. He placed my pleasure above his and I almost didn’t know how to act. I was already a humble person by nature. This act of kindness, this attentive lover I feared would bring me to my knees. I was too grateful for the feelings he incited in me and if I didn’t get a hold of myself the game would be over before it began.
The kid texted me later that day that she’d return on Monday evening. She was having a blast with her girls and they’d be partying off and on Sunday as well.
I told him he could stay if he wanted to.
He told me he would stay if I wanted him to.
We passed two days making love, fucking, eating, smoking, talking, fucking.
We were drunk on each other, off of each other in every way imaginable.
When I washed in the tub, he washed in the sink.
When I applied lotion to my skin, he applied lotion to his.
We spoke about the most insignificant topics and yet it felt like I was talking philosophy with Aristotle.
We sat on my front stoop smoking our fags, talking our talk and sipping on two mugs of steaming fresh coffee. I’d never been so fascinated with the goings-on of my neighborhood. Every time he smiled at me, a thousand stars shined.
He listened to every word I spoke as if it were of earth shattering importance.
His attentions entranced me, his desire for me which he did nothing to mask all but intoxicated me.
When Sunday came and my daughter texted me that she would be home in an hour, I was unable to let him go until 10 minutes before deadline. He found himself unwilling to leave my side until the final countdown had begun.
He kissed me inside of the hallway like a passionate teen and promised that he would see me soon. I felt the fear of future actions making a lie out of those wondrous words but I swallowed them back and simply kissed him in response. I had been doing a lot of that this weekend. When I couldn’t trust that my words would but make me appear weak and foolish, like an old woman trying hard to hang on to the discovery of something young and beautiful, I bit my bottom lip and said nothing at all. I was desperate to become the girl he saw. She was in there somewhere and he had the key. I couldn’t lose him now. And so I let him go.
When he reached the corner he turned back, winked and blew me a kiss without any thought to loss of cool points. I giggled like a schoolgirl and watched him until he disappeared into the day.
On one hand I loved his lack of self consciousness and on the other I couldn’t help but note what a playa playa move it was. Damn, I could feel it. I had fallen. I was in lust for certain, in love perhaps. But my tiger, what was I to him?
Here my old ass was suppose to be the predator but could I actually be prey?