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Movie Review – Batman Vs. Superman – Dawn of Justice **No Spoilers**

Now let’s just jump right in and answer the question that everyone’s been dying to know.  Did Affleck cut it as Batman?

The answer is a resounding Hell Yes!!!  Quite frankly if you’re thinking that anyone solidifies the Bats the way that Jackman solidifies Wolverine then no – no actor has done that yet.  I thought Keaton came close and quite frankly, I think Affleck comes even closer.  For the first time I saw the version of Batman I like best, the weathered, vigilante that is tired of fighting the bad guys with kid gloves.  In this movie, the gloves are off.  He’s fedup.  He’s a little lost and overshadowed by the Bats.  You feel a longing for his childhood, for a chance to be simply Bruce.  There’s a scene where he’s glaring at the Bat suit as if it’s the very symbol that’s both the cause for ruination and redemption in his life, which if you know his history, it absolutely is!

The one thing I’ve always hated which has not changed is the raspy intonation in Batman’s voice.  I think we can safely ditch that.  While it’s true that replacing it with John Malkovich’s monotone is certainly not going to work, the over emphasis, borderline comedic heavy tone is a bit archaic.  If Daniel can give Bond a makeover, there’s no reason we can’t drop a few tools that never enhanced our beloved character in the first place.

I was totally diggin’ the story-line from the beginning.  It wasn’t especially intelligent but it had momentum and was believable Then we got to the middle and they dropped the ball, like entirely.  And all this movie became was a prelude to Justice League.  Why oh why, powers that be?  You could have made an excellent film out of this one had you stuck with the story, and let it play out naturally instead of making Batman unreasonable, borderline psychotic and then completely rushing the ending to a nonsensical degree.

I loved the movie up until that point.  I’m still glad I saw it but the writers should smack themselves.  That was a fuckup of royal proportions.  We get that Batman and Superman are essentially orphans trying to do right by the world but hang it up already.  The dead parent thing has been done to death – literally and figuratively.  Personally I’m waiting for them to fast forward this bad boy further into the future, where Batman takes on more of an Alfred role and begins coaching Nightwing.  We need fresh blood.

Hats off to Jeremy Irons for his role as Alfred, the butler with brains, brawn, and an afternoon sherry attitude!  I cannot tell a lie, I missed Caine to no end but a new Batman dictates a new Butler.

As for Cal Gadot playing Diana Prince, aka Wonder Woman, she did an adequate job but quite frankly I don’t think she carries the look well.  The scenes where she’s sauntering around in civilian clothes are absolutely stunning.  There is no denying this woman is incredibly striking and a fair actress but I think if she used her lasso on herself even she wouldn’t be convinced this was the right role for her.

The sailor and I share the same opinion on another dark and lovely, Ms. Olivia Munn.  We think she would have been a better candidate. The history of Wonder Woman is that she’s an Amazonian of Greek mythology.  This is not your housewife of Greece.  This chic is designed to take out men in droves both anatomically and otherwise.  She’s big on top and not just her boobs, which is typical of all comics but her shoulders.  She’s broad, brawny even.  Cal does look strong but more modelesque than  WWF.

 

Even as a Halloween costume, you can see the potential in Olivia.

As for Henry Cavill – Need anything be said at all?  They got it right.  Henry can do no wrong.  His chiseled features simply make love to the screen.  You cannot take your eyes off of any part of him and believe me there’s something for everyone.  Not only does he look amazing, he’s an incredible actor.  Have you seen The Tudors?  Superman is a character they’ve managed to get right a few times.

Chris Reeves was the absolute best – I mean talk about straight out of the comic!

 

Brendan Routh appeared to be Chris’s younger brother – hell he even sounded like him!

And now Henry Cavill.

When it comes to the red cape, the casting crew is spot on!

Let’s just talk for a minute about Lex Luthor in this film played by Jesse Eisenberg, a good actor by all other accounts, until this fiasco.  Jesse plays Lex as if he were the Joker’s nephew, not a brilliant, billionaire, philanthropic scientist.  Yes we know that genius and diabolical walk hand in hand but this is over the top.  Jesse’s performance is forced, chaotic and by no means relate-able or believable.  It’s sheer tripe and by that I mean any audience member can see through it for what it is and more importantly for what it isn’t.

The final verdict: the sailor and I are glad we saw it.  The film still has merit and just to see Ben pull this off was worth the last 40 minutes of cringe-worthy scenes.

I think that DC should start taking pages from Marvel and pull the Dark Knight into the light.  I think it’s time to take some of the heavy out of these flicks.

Three stars kittens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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