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Dear Diary 2/3/2016

Sooo OMGosh the past couple of weeks my sunshine and I have been in sync like nobody’s business.  I’ve been exceedingly well at getting it done and things are moving bewitch us seamlessly.  I love it.  It’s like a golden era at work.  I’ve been getting exceptionally adept at maneuvering his expense reports, mainly because I dot all my i’s and mind all of my p’s and q’s.  We’ve finally gotten a system down that works for both of us and it’s paying off in spades.  Also my entire work family and I get on like peas in a pod and it’s truly wonderful to have this much camaraderie going on, especially since my sunshine’s been away I’ve been working late, which has me coming in late, etc., but he’s cool with it since no one’s been here.  Now that he’s back it’s time to get back to our regularly scheduled program.

I’m ready because that’s the only way I’m going to be able to throw in some exercise.  I haven’t done any of that for a minute.  The only thing I’ve been managing sporadically is my elliptical.  But I’m rather bored with exercise in general so I thought to myself – hey I love to dance right?  Right.  So why don’t I figure a way to combine the two?  So I did – I’m going to get that dance DVD with the video camera and just rock my own world!  I’ll let ya’ll know how that goes.  Mainly I want to work out without feeling like I’m working out.  Jillian Michaels – I ain’t!  I’ll let you know how it goes.

So I got this little situation and I think probably a lot of women run into something similar at some point in their life – what is it – well – it’s someone you’ve been friendly with who takes it the wrong way.  Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.  Now let me just say that some people (my sailor included) says, honey, you’re too friendly.  But let’s dissect that for a minute.  What the hell is too friendly anyway?  I mean is too friendly saying hello and making some small talk and then – peace out because honestly that’s not my idea of too friendly.  That’s my idea of warmth.  I’m a warm woman.  If I see you from time to time, whether you’re building maintenance, the mail person, the girl who butters my bagel, I’m going to say hello, good morning, how are you doing?  Geez, whatever happen to small talk?   Well I think I know.  I use to hear that women just walk around looking mad, don’t answer when guys stop and say “good morning” or “how are you today?”  That women tend to walk around with a perpetual bitch face.  Well I must say, I am starting to get why.  I’ve always been friendly, I’ve always been warm but I’ve run into experiences where I notice (some males) take it the wrong way and start to act like I’m trying to garner their attention and they’re all about it.  Now because I’ve been running into this bs quite a bit I’ve doctored my behavior to a certain degree.  Now I’m friendly but I frost the warmth just a little – and maybe turn it into lukewarm.  If I notice a male showing me more interest that I prefer, I turn the attitude and conversation to an almost professional tone and sometimes they take the hint and fall back.  Sometimes, however they do not and force me to start overthinking a stupid situation that shouldn’t be a situation at all.  And it really pisses me off because I really can’t stomach anything trivial taking up space in my mind and disturbing my peace.  It’s some real bullshit and it makes me want to knock a fool out.

Well I’ve been dealing with this for a little longer than I care for and I was about to make another move on this chessboard of idiocy – because I really feel like this old fool knows what he’s doing but doesn’t really give a rat’s ass because whatever he’s getting out of it seems to be worth my uncomfortability.  In any case, I had a chat with my Jesus last night and I’m going to just chill and let him handle this fool because I know he will.  Every move I make I keep running into a brick wall.  This damn old fool is stubborn like a motherfucker and I’m about to lose my cool, throw on some 80’s brass knuckles and break it down like: Lookee here – just stop this bullshit before I knock your  ass out.  I’m tired of every time I turn around – shit, there you be, all up in my grill just so you can see me.  I ain’t a Kardashian.  I don’t need this attention.  I’m trying to grind and I ain’t got time for this bullshit.  I’ll keep you posted but for right now, I’m sitting on my hands.

toodles poodles.