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Dear Diary 2/9/2016

So my JC did handle my little crisis.  I still see homiE from time to time but I have fallen all the way back and further more homiE has mentioned that I am vex with him but he doesn’t know why.  I’m not gonna front, part of me wants to mention it but I’m just trying to let this die already.  I’m sick of thinking about it – I mean it’s of so little import and I’m resentful of all of the time it’s already – not to mention how much of my peace of mind it’s already stolen.  I mean how do you even answer that statement.

Do you just say, listen homiE, I use to say hello to you and make it a point to stop and chat with you because I’m that genuinely nice person but when I realized you took my good morning and made like I gave you a lap dance and then started to just be on 10 every time you seen me well I didn’t particularly dig that.  So I fell back but that’s way after you started doing too much and didn’t want to (purposefully I feel) pick up all of the hints I was dropping to stop all of that and treat me the way you should – like a warm acquaintance – NOT a crush – well after you chose to ignore my hints and continue doing your madness – I just started to give you the head nod and wave from a distance after that.

And now you gonna say – I feel you might be vex with me but I don’t know why???? And I’m suppose to explain myself.  Nah bro.  I ain’t explaining shit.  I’m not trying to be angry about this whole schtupidness either.  Whatever this crazy was, I want it to be over.  This is now the new normal.  How ya doing, good, good – weather, cold, yeah, dress warm – deuces!  That’s how we rollin’ from here to eternity.  Peace!

As for my third book HIM, well I’m re-reading the entire book and then I’m going to make my changes and then re-proof and then re-publish.  I don’t know if I’ve read the book so much that I’m sick of it but I’m kind of sick of it.  Also the story of HIM is no longer the story I’m enthralled with.  That was a story I essentially wrote years ago.  I’m all about The Tumble now.  My writing is different, my thought process is different and I want to be on that page rather than where I am.  But being an author is not all about the creative.  Sometimes there’s just old fashioned work involved and you simply have to make up your mind and slosh through it.  So that’s where I’m at with that.

On the other hand, I’m taking an online creative writing short course, and if I feel the experience teaches me something that’s extremely useful to the craft (which I’m fairly certain it will) then this will be the first of many.  Every author that I admire has taken some writing courses and is a part of a lot of “writer” groups and activities.  I don’t know how I’m going to get through that part but you know it might be time to embrace the other side of writing unless I want to be the only one reading my shizmit!

Also this week the sailor will be finding out what’s up with classes and this whole course thing.  He’s been working pretty hard at the math and I’ve been helping him and being supportive where I can be.  God said do your part and he’ll do his so we await his guidance for phase 2 with much more optimism than we would have without him.  (I don’t even want to have an inkling of what that’s like.)

On other news I’m fighting this horrific cold.  It reared its ugly head last week but I beat it back – apparently not far enough.  But tonight I’m going to run home around 6, and the sailor might even be in a position to come get me so yay!!!

My poor parents are sick too.  It feels like every time I turn around they’re catching a terrible flu.  I hope they get better sooner rather than later.  I’m also hoping to see them next week when I am straight.  I miss them and it would be great to spend some time with them, having tea, chilling – letting them tell me some stories about Guyana – sometimes you don’t even know why you feel you need a hug from your mama and a smile from your pops but you do.  I do.

By the by, this week I’m waking up at the crack of dawn, getting into the office on time so I don’t get stressed.  It’s working.  Punctuality has never been my strong suit but I’m tired of it.  It’s time for a lifestyle change.

This Thursday my sailor has also promised to help me work on getting the video blog up.  My sis told me a long time ago that she would love it if she could just play my Tumble chapters instead of having to read them.  And this past weekend Tracey told me that she would have been done with my book had it been an Audio book!  Wow, I do believe my sis has seen this as the wave of the future and I think she’s right, so no more delaying.  It’s time to get on that!

toodles poodles