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Dear Diary 6/7/2016

Dear Diary,

Another interesting week – I mean I’m getting there.  I feel like I’m getting there – although my thighs have their own agenda.

Work is great – my boss thanked me for a really good week – and at first I was feeling pretty awesome – like you’re so welcome for my awesomeness – but then I was like – well – ah what were the other weeks like?  Were they terrible?  Did you not feel like I was giving you my best?  I mean, you’re probably right – truthfully giving my best takes a lot of out of me.  I can’t do it all of the time.  Most days you get 80% – some days you get 120% and then there are the days where I’m like a walking zombie – I nod, I answer the phone, I look like I’m really putting in an effort but that’s actually where all my effort went – into appearing like I’m putting in a lot of of effort – those are the 20% days.  So after that great text I was thinkin’ – am I gonna get fired?  Yeah some days the paranoia can kick in real strong.

Anyway I’m still here, banging away – giving around 85% – after that scare – one had to up the ante.

On the exercise front – I feel like I’m back in the saddle for the most part.  I exercise more than prior – average 3 days a week and I’m looking to top that every day.  My sailor and I did it together last night, which was a treat (the exercise I mean you little devil).  Usually he can be that guy who has something to say about my technique, you’re not doing that right, try this, it’s more potent – which of course has me saying – look now – i got this and preferring to workout on my own.  But I guess after being together – what – 15 years or so, he’s done with the advice.  So now we work out together in harmony.  He does his thing and I do mine.  Like I said on several other occasions and am more than likely to repeat, we’re in this new space where we are one hell of a solid team.  I know that sounds bland – like we’re co-workers or something. – And truth be told – all my life, I’ve never truly known what it means to be a team in a marriage.  But now – now this is a whole other playing field that I didn’t even know existed and it’s really hard to convey with words.  But I’m gonna try.

Last night when I came home, it was a mess.  There were papers and mail thrown carelessly about, the garbage smelled, dishes in the sink – and I was livid.  I don’t do well on stinky smells and commuting on the bus and train for 1.5 hours only to get into my sanctuary and to realize it smelled better outside – aw hell naw – I was ticked.  But it turns out my sailor came home after school and jumped into his schoolwork. He has finals coming up and dropped everything to wrap that up because he wanted to be relatively free when I got home; so we could hang together.  So after getting the 411 on the joint, I cleaned up while he wrapped up his quiz.  We both finished together more or less and then worked out.  After that we showered, had the Bible read to us (omgosh there’s this app that allows the Bible to be read to you- so with this type of luxury it’s much easier to keep up) ate, watched GOT and then fell out.

That’s how we do.  And most of the time when I’m working late, my sailor saves me the bus ride and picks me up from the train, he runs errands, picks up stuff for the house – it’s like that – it’s like a give and take – we balance each other instead of the hardship just being on one person.  Anyway I dig it.

So this past weekend we saw (at 1:15am) X-Men Apocalypse with the kids and had a ball!  I always love seeing my lil mama.  We also had wedding talk during breakfast which my baby daddy (ex-hubby) generously hosted at his restaurant Denny’s – on Sunday – Wow shizmit is getting real – and real expensive – there’s so much involved but I’m in the process of getting some organization together which is key when you’re dealing with multiple families.  I know we’ll get it done and it will be wonderful, which it should be for these two kids because they’re total awesome sauce!

On a side-note – two things irked me to no end on FB – and yes it was from my friends – actually family by marriage –  one was the mentioning of seeing a young woman pushing a stroller, dressed in some daisy dukes, ass hanging all out – and something to the affect of – get your ass outta them shorts and into some edumacation – lemme just simplify this before I go off in a tangent – I don’t appreciate all of the judgment going around on this random young chica.  First off – dressing sexy is the right of every woman, so dress however you please – secondly – do we know her circumstances?  Why are we judging that she doesn’t have an education?  Could be she do, could be she don’t – either which way – who cares?  If you’re not going to get involved and help then save your judgment.

Another post was about a mother taking her 16 year old son to school – they happen to glance out of the car window and saw the son’s girlfriend walking to school – the mother commented on how short the young lady’s skirt was – and the son mimics the same thought out loud.  – Oh child why???? A girl is too young to dress sexy, or she’s too old or she’s too ugly or she’s too cute, or too thique or too thin – oh geez when does it end?  Secondly why would you teach your son to be so insecure?  He is not her daddy.  In truth he’s just a boyfriend – your job is to teach him the appropriateness of his behavior in and of that particular framework.  A boyfriend has no place asserting any sort of authority on his girlfriend’s attire.  If you allow him to think he has that authority I hope you love living with your son – I mean like when 16 becomes 61 because ain’t no woman in the world gonna want his insecure behind – and guess who’s fault that will be?

Alright I think I’m done now.  I’ve given you the good, the bad and the ugly.  Now it’s time for me to catch my ass home and work out.

toodles poodles