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Dear Diary 7/22/2015

So as I’m wading through the seas of life I can’t help but experience some surprising things from the opposite sex.

So I gots this FB buddy and he’s the kind of dude that’s into all things mystic.  He calls himself a searcher, a seeker of truth, a vessel of knowledge.  Now me, I’m a very practical gal.  I’m a Capricorn for Pete’s sake!  My sign is a goat.  You know what goats are good for?  Butting things!  They are stubborn but they’re also sure-footed, cautious, can smell bs from a mile back ya know what I’m sayin?

Anyhoosie, dude and I are having some nice banter, pretty good chitty chatty’s  – – he’s always been the type of guy that has stuff all over his FB page about how brothers should appreciate a strong woman and how a strong woman should never lessen herself to make a man feel more like a man.  In fact she should drop that zero and get herself with a hero because she deserves  a man who is smart enough, secure enough and strong enough to handle her.  And on and on, blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.

Well as the world’s softest sleeper alpha female I can dig it.  I’m all about it.  How cool this cat must be!  So secure in his own skin.  And he’s no child by the by, (oddly enough I find younger men much more secure than men my age.)

Anyhoo if you’ve ever had dealings with a “seeker of truth” you might notice that they generally seem to have something in common.  And the thread that many of them have in common (now bear in mind I am speaking from my realm of experience)  they all seem to have a dissatisfaction and innate dislike even anger towards secular, organized religion, namely Catholicism and Christianity.  A lot of it seems to stem from childhood and their personal experiences with the religion.  Now I’ve met quite a few people who use to be Catholic and have become very disenchanted with the entire enterprise upon reaching adulthood.  Some are atheists now, some very spiritual beings but no actual ties to a secular religion.  Others have chosen another religion entirely.  Some of the people I’ve dealt with experienced a great deal of guilt and fear which they now translate as a form of control and are not about that life no mo’!

Now lookE here – I honestly believe in “judge NOT lest ye be judged.”  So I sympathize and empathize with a great deal of these people.  But let’s not get it twisted, your experience has not been my experience n’est pas!

AnyhoosiE one day my buddy sends me a link.  The top picture is of Jesus on the cross inverted and the words above this depiction are: The Benefits of Demonic Possession.  Below is an animated pic of a young boy pulling on the reigns of his white horse as they are both waist deep in a bog (a scene from The Never Ending Story) as it turned out.  One of those loop animations – boy tugging on the reins in a perpetual loop.

Pray tell what does one make of all of this?  I’ll be damned if I had a clue.  The only thing that I did know was that I was offended by the depiction of my savior and shot dude a text that pretty much stated please don’t share things like that with me as I am a Christian.  In two shakes of a lambs tail dude shot me back a text talkin’ bout’ “judgmental aren’t we?”

Ummm, say what now?  You damn right! Well after that it was on like donkey kong.  And quite frankly it’s too boring to go into it all with the exception of what I learned from the ordeal.  And what I learned is precisely this – sometimes people portray who they believe they are – but a situation will come up proving they don’t even know who the heck they actually are.  This dude fancied himself the type of man who not only could handle a strong/dominant woman but actually preferred one.  From one conversation I learned that was far from the case.  I exercised my right to politely tell tell him to refrain from sending me something that he may have found interesting and he had kittens!  Dude get over yourself, you are not more important than the lover of my soul.

Two: I don’t care if you look like Gerard Butler, rap like Tupac Shakur, write like Bram Stoker and sing like Marc Anthony, what I think about anything will always be more important than what you think of me because I dare shared a preference, had an opinion or exercised a right.  Granted that’s a little tricky so read it out loud.  It will make better sense.  Before he could ask me to delete his number it was gone!  hOla!  Insert head bopping here – and bounce to “hol up hol up hol up – we dem boys.  hol up hol up hol up – we dem boys” – yeah dude it’s like that!  Next!

Sooooo on the work front – Love my sunshine.  He’s completely awesome, 99.9% of the time we are as synced up, linked up and primped up!  (Yes I know – I’m not a rapper, don’t quit my day job) but come on…. nothing wrong with adding a little color to the convo – i mean really – just ask Donald Trump!  May I just intercede for a moment to say a big, huge WTF?  No like seriously, maybe i need to say that thrice.  While I appreciate Democracy and Freedom of speech, tis a sad sad day when a bigoted idiot can take the airwaves spouting all types of mayhem and foolishness yet do well on the polls.  Wow!  Honestly other than your mama Tramp, I mean Trump I really didn’t think you’d have any genuine support.  I don’t even want to think about what this says about my fellow Americans but you can be sure I’m lookin’ at everyone on the bus and train sideways!  Werd!  Anyhoo, work is busy as all heck.  My husband has nicknamed my iphone (my personal phone) ball and my work phone Blackberry – he calls chain.  Every time we’re going somewhere – whether it’s out to dinner or to the couch – my Trini baby turns to me and says – you got your ball and chain wit u?  Oh lawdE lawd yes it’s like that.  But I’mma tell you the harsh truth – it keeps me in the know and connects me with everything that goes on within the office and with my sunshine and helps me do my job 100% better.  So basically that’s not going to change.

Now you may have heard that I published my book!  Yay!  Yes I did.  And let me just say that my FB family and friends have been exceptionally supportive.  Thank you to all.  I’ll also be part of a sponsorship event called LadyDrinks – one of Joya Dass’s Events (she is the Founder of LadyDrinks).  I will post all of the details in case anyone would like to attend.  There will be many other female entrepreneurs, not just myself and my sister but my daughter as well so it should be a real treat!

By the by, since hubby has been home we’ve been pretty much fighting like cats and dogs taking a breather just long enough to gets to the business and then fight some more.  That is until the past two weeks.  Yes it appears that we’ve got all of the fight out of our systems and it would now seem that we’re on the same page.  It wasn’t easy.

For the first time in our 14 going on 15 year marriage (it will be 15 in October) I’ve let my schmoopy get away with murder.  Yes I’ve babied him, spoiled him, did the whole Whitney/Bobby thang where I said he was right even when he was wrong.  I did whatever I had to do to keep the peace and well … i sure paid for it later.  Sooo this time when my sailor came home I was very clear about the kind of marriage i wanted from here on out and what I want is a more equal partnership.  Now first off let me just say I would not expect a 50/50 kind of thing because women do wayyy more all day every day.  It will never even out unless science comes up with some way to transfer my uterus to his body!  Then it’s a wrap!

Sooo what I’m asking from him is to behave the same way I do when he asks something of me.  When he asks me to do something, I make it a priority and I do it.  When I ask him to do something it’s excuses, anger, arguments or some other nonsense.  Nah bro.  No more of that.  Be like Nike and just do it.

So since he’s been back we’ve been going through it.  – Walking around each other like two weary prize fighters in a ring – me swingin like Tyson – because I know no other way than to come at you straight like a bulldog and him dancin and zippin around like Prince Nasseem avoiding everything I’m throwing at him until he gets an opening.  It was utter madness.  But a month and a half later, we’re settling into our roles like champs.  We’re getting behind each other, encouraging each other, helping each other, coaching each other like a team with one goal instead of every man for himself.  I’m diggin’ it.  And we’re both giving it our all.

Last night after work he picked me up from the train station, we went to the grocery store, he fetched all of the bags in the house, I put everything away.  After that I set to cooking something quick and cleaning up the joint while he cooled the joint off and set to putting together the hookah.  After cooking we ate together and watched some tv then back on the work flow.  I washed the dishes while he set up the computer so we could design my business cards using Vistaprint.  By the by, my  man (if you didn’t know) is a geek.  He’s very tech savvy, very into gadgets and computers and cars only he looks hot.  So win win win!  Anyhoo may i just say that we both had a slice of chocolate banana cake while smoking hookah and designing my card.  He spent hours working his magic and it’s stunning!  I love love love it.  I’ll post later when they arrive.

He’s really giving me his full attention and I couldn’t be happier!

Tonight I’d really like to run home but we’re having team drinks and I wasn’t actually invited but my boss just called me and said he’d like me to be there.  So I’m going!  Gonna have one drink be sociable cause truthfully I love my work kids and my work hubby so it will definitely be nice to spend some time with them out of the office.

I’ll let you know how it went round 2.  Hopefully I’ll be able to manage my time better and not wait so long to blog again.  It really sucks to have to do that but I’ve been incredibly busy.

Toodles Poodles